30th Sun of the 5th Moon, Deoch 17

Why do they say that the man is stronger than the woman, when even the most gentle of women can bring a man to his knees without ever lifting her hand?
Why do they claim we have free will if we cannot even control what we feel for others?
Why am I powerless now, when I have felled any foe I ever crossed swords with?
I do not know what to do… Have to take some time to think…

2nd Sun of the 6th Moon, Deoch 17

I have made up my mind, I cannot stay any longer. I cannot bear to look into Her eyes anymore. Not at this rate. I have posted a message to the Tuatha de Deo board today, letting them know of my decision: I'll be travelling east from Rucesion. I want to see what is out there - if anything. Honestly, I do not think that is the true reason for my leaving… I need to be alone, need to ponder this turn of events. There is no place in Temuair that does not remind me of Her, I can no longer live like this. I am leaving as soon as the ship I hired is ready. Hopefully it will only be a few days…