by Solon in Dark Ages
The mundane life that I once lived seems to me now nothing more then a mere shadow of another persons body, It was not my past and then it was. I left behind a family, a wife and children and yet that family is not mine.
Born in what was said to be a coldest winter ever seen to the shores of Rucesion, of the third deoch. I was always told from a young age that it was Fiosachd's luck that allowed me to survive my birth. I came into the world with out a breath my body blue, as well as the little hair I had. My father, a strong, proud, and poor sailor told me that he set me in the small crib he built for me with his own hands thinking I was born dead. As he turned to comfort my mother he heard a small cry from me and quickly grabbed every blanket he owned to keep me warm against the chilling air within our small shack of a home. They named me Solon, a name I have kept even after being a Mundane, I was told the name came from a man long ago who was lost within a storm of corruption and died before he could find his way out to finish his work.
As a young one, I was constantly given second looks from Ailsling and Mundane alike, apparently I was small and sickly, I must have looked oddly being able to walk when other children who were twice my size were still learning. Even by the end of the fith deoch I was still half the size of those born in the middle of the fourth. Despite my small size and the constant disadvantage I had over the other children, I made up for in wit.
One time, I went with my father's ship to Abel, the captain, a big man, had always been like an uncle to me and once allowed me to take the helm and steer the boat, Not being tall enough to see over the edge I pretended to be a great Sea captain, another sailor quickly pulled me away before we hit a reef. After we arrived in Abel my father gave me a small leather sack of gold as an offering to the temple of Fiosachd. I left my father at the docks and made my way to the temple watching the dealings going on around me. As I approached the temple I was waylaid by a group of three misguided kids all about twice my size. The biggest of the three seemed to be the leader of the group and he quickly asked for me to hand over the pouch or else he would teach me a lesson. Being as small as I was I knew I could not outrun or fight these three. I responded that I would, but asked them why they wanted my money if I could take the money they had and multiply within the temple of Fiosachd. The three of them looked suspicious for a moment but then greed took them over and they all gave me the little coin they had and waited for me outside while I went into the temple. I prayed quickly to Fiosachd for help to get back to the docks alive and deposited my fathers offerings, at least the ogres wouldn't get a hold of my fathers money now. I went outside expecting to get beaten but as I exited the temple the three boys seemed to be staring right through me waiting. I was never sure until later why they never saw me, but I quickly ran back to the docks getting away.
For the next several deoches life went by uneventfully, I grew much larger, like my father. But unlike him I did not become a sailor, I did odd jobs for the shop keepers of Rucesion and eventually became an apprentice blacksmith under the smith Marcelo. I worked there for several more deoches learning the trade, and helping the family. Today Marcelo is the only Mundane that recognizes me for who I was. Although ever since I became an Ailsling my soul has changed and I am not the same.
By the summer of the thirteenth deoch I met a woman, a Mundane, we loved each other, I think. It seems that my memory of us has been blocked, maybe I block with my own feeling of loss or maybe it has been blocked from me to keep away the pain. I do not remember her name and I do not think I ever will. But I do know that I loved her, and that we had children, three, I think. Sometimes I hope that they will become Ailslings, or already are, and that I will meet them and we will be together again. But this I do not know. I do not feel sadness over this just loss, a deep loss that I cannot explain, an emptiness within myself. But all of this is unknown to me.
As for how and why I became an Ailsling I do not know. I don't remember when or where, but I remember awakening and having a keen awareness that I had never felt before, a new way of view, a consciousness that was my own and more enlightened, I almost felt a god, but yet, I am an Ailsling.
I met a 'family' of Ailslings soon after my awakening, they told me that they were like me and they were together, a family of Ailslings without a family, brothers bonded by word. I joined them, looking for a place of belonging that I have never quite reached.
My life here, as an Ailsling, has been short and simple there's not much about me that does not deal with my life as a Follower of M'lord. I live within a shell of limitations, as a priest of Fiosachd; I serve only him and work to complete his goals. I cannot pretend I know what his goals are and I will find myself wandering alone, and lost.
I will often give over many hours of my time to assist another in prayers or whatever it is they are in need of, I do not always enjoy assisting but it gives me a chance to bring influence upon another, a subtle way to give them direction and guidance, with some more so then others, I try to spread his teachings and will through individual communication, directly or indirectly, In Hope that they do not become lost.
Sometimes I find myself wondering why I am here, what is the point to it all, Each Day I serve I grow older, weary, each day I serve I become more lost within myself. At first I joined to please the family that had adopted me since I became an Ailsling, for they were all Worshipers of Fiosachd. Only recently have I found that I came to Fiosachd to find a way and direction in my life, and to be here to when he needs me, when He finally does call upon me.
Yet, he does not call upon or Guide me, I wish for a sign from him but I do not find it. I will often gives his blessing "May he light your path", and not meaning to be selfish, this blessing is in some ways more for mine own good then it is for others. These words become my prayers to him in Hope that he will show me what I must do, each time I utter these words I am only more lost then the last time they were spoken.
I often wonder if Fiosachd is doing this to me purposefully. "He wandered through time did he not? Alone, was he ever lost, or did he know where he was going..?" Maybe M'lord is showing me the path to what he has achieved, maybe not. Lost, I can only wonder if Fiosachd was ever lost on his path, or if he ever really knew he was on a path, I cannot know or hope to understand the feelings of a God, but maybe he is sharing with me the loneliness he once, or still does feel.
And maybe that's how My life was meant to be, Lost, Alone, Free, but restrained, wanting and yearning for that which I'm not sure of. Then that is not what I believe but it seems right, I do not believe in fate and yet I acknowledge it. That may be why I am here, to serve Fiosachd.
Solon, Priest of Fiosachd.
May he light your paths..